


Truth is a Sword

by Idhren15



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Oneshot, Post season three, Self-Doubt, Troll Jim Lake Jr., half changeling jim, half troll jim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 17:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17308727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idhren15/pseuds/Idhren15
Summary: He was the first human Trollhunter, they said, but they never explained why.A reflection of Jim's duty as the Trollhunter, and why he was chosen. Post Season 3. Oneshot.





	Truth is a Sword

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! So, this is my first fanfic ^-^  
> It's something I've been meaning to write since season 3 finished. I've also been inspired by some of the amazing writers on here, like Eclipsia & EarthboundJedi, major thanks to you guys :3
> 
> This is just a short oneshot I put together. Hope you like it!

He was the first human Trollhunter, they said, but they never explained why.

Sometimes he wonders how he never noticed before, but back then, he was just a child. An excitable, innocent, not-quite-human but totally oblivious child. He was caught up in the magic and the battles and the adventure.

It didn't even cross his mind to question why.

Not in that sense, anyway. He rejected the amulet based purely on his _human_ emotions. He didn't feel good enough. Didn't want the responsibility. Didn't consider that maybe, just maybe, he was chosen for another reason.

Why, now, in the 21st century... Why did Merlin wait until _now_ to pick a human Trollhunter? Why not chose one before, if that was what it would take to defeat Gunmar?

Except, he reflects, his humanity was not enough.

He first started to question when he entered that dark place. Void of hope, void of light, his only companions trolls and creatures even darker. It scared him that he was able to endure so well. Of course, it wasn't easy- far from- but he doubted a normal human could've stomached some of the things he consumed in order to survive.

Then Gunmar had him, and he had far too much time to think. It was that, or face the pain, and he was desperate to block it out.  
He didn't want to consider how a few of the changelings he spied wandering around looked somewhat familiar. He refused to put words to the emotions that came from his time in that place, the place where all changelings resided at first.

And in the nursery, he refused to read the surname on the black-haired baby's crib, one with the name _James_.

He pushed that from his mind. He could not afford to dwell on anything that happened in the Darklands, lest the terrors consume him again. No, he had much to focus on.

But all too soon he was in a cage and questioning again.

His mind wandered further. He stared at his hands, pondering the blood that ran through them, imaging his skin a different colour. And for a second, he saw it that way, but then it was gone, and the amulet was all he had.

He cursed it. He threw it aside. He didn't want it, none of it! Not the pain it brought on himself, his friends, his family... not to mention the doubts on his very identity... He had struggled enough, with his father leaving. He didn't want more to handle.  
The weight was too much for Atlas.  
But how could he carry on, knowing what he did? Seeing the world as it was but not as it should be? And so he found himself choosing again, knowing what he had to do, though it would cost him everything, again and again.

When he fell into the Deep, he shouldn't have been so surprised at what he found down there. It was his greatest fear. The monster that resided within him, the inhuman blood in his veins, all coming clean in a hideous, murderous beast.  
He couldn't fight it and defeat it. It was stronger than him, faster than him, so much _better_ than him.

So instead he conquered by acceptance.  
He stared the beast down, seeing his blue eyes reflecting back at him, and spoke firmly. If this was a part of him, he would embrace it, though he did not want it. The monster growled and let him be, taking those doubtful thoughts with it.

For a while, he was able to focus on his mission and the other important issues in life.  
But the monster wouldn't let him go.

He shouldn't have listened to the changeling. What was he thinking, inhaling Gum Gum ashes? The thought of them burned his throat even now, like they had damaged his voice, a permanent reminder of his true nature. His humanity had won, but only just.

It was then he started to fall.

Merlin's words cut him straight to the bone. He wasn't good enough. Wasn't strong enough. Couldn't do it.

_Then why_ , he pleaded, _why me_?

Because of his heart. His foolish, human heart, broken yet beating strong. But if it were just about the heart, he was certain others had better hearts them him. He could name at least ten in an instant.

And that was when he accepted the truth.

There was no other way. He told himself that, still tells himself now, as he examines his uneven hands. Hands that, alien as they are, were exactly how they were meant to be.

Part of him would never be the same. He laughed at that now, as he knew more than ever that Merlin _lied_. The wizard lied to him, on so many levels.

Merlin's concoction didn't transform him into a half-troll.  
It fed on the blood already in his veins, letting him become who he was always destined to be.

He was the first human Trollhunter, they said, but that was a lie as well. Because he was only half human.

The other half was troll, all along.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Quick explanation on this (if anyone wants it) :  
> My theory is that Jim is half changeling, his father was a changeling but because trolls mature at a slower rate than humans, none of the traits showed. If Merlin hadn't gotten involved, it would have kicked in when Jim was in his 20s.  
> And so, the potion only served to bring out what was already there. 
> 
> Just a theory, anyway! Please leave comments / feedback ^-^ and thanks for reading!


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